New Year's Resolutions You Can Live With!!? This year, I resolve to: - Gain weight. At least 30 pounds - Stop exercising. Waste of time; Hey, I ain't in no beauty  contest -Read less. Makes you think -Stop smoking. I'm in stage 1. I stopped buying them -Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff -Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow -Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did -Pay less taxes. Can't pay taxes with no job -Stop bringing lunch from home. I should eat out more -Create loose ends -Invest in fewer stocks...I like keeping my money -Buy more toys. Whoever dies with the most toys wins! -Stop making ridiculous New Year's resolutions!